Lessons from 67 years of friendship
By: Teresa Kenney, Director of Development for Stella Maris Academy
In the fall of 1953, six girls from Duluth; Mary Beth Moyer (Dougherty), Ann Williams (Bussey), Ann Pasternacki (Besinger), Ann Heimbaugh (Strothcamp), Mary Ann Spang (Monge) and Betsy Hoene (Martin) were entering kindergarten. It is a time marked by President Eisenhower’s first year, the developing polio vaccine, and the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II. And within the walls of Holy Rosary school, the girls began to form bonds that would produce a lifelong friendship that today spans 67 years. A friendship that would carry through high school and college, marriage and family, careers and retirement, and would produce countless laughs and endless support.
L-R: Ann Williams-Bussey, Ann Pasternacki-Besinger, Bestsy Hoene-Martin, Maryann Spang-Monge, Mary Beth Moyer-Dougherty, Ann Heimbaugh-Strothkamp
Through the years, the group was dubbed “The WOD’s” (The Women of Duluth). A name bestowed decades ago by Ann Pasternacki-Besinger’s son after a flurry of calls to their Twin Cities residence as the women were making plans to attend Betsy’s judicial swearing-in ceremony. “Oh! It must be a WOD emergency!” But in 1953 and in those early years, it was a simpler time when backyards were open to neighbors, the folks at Nelson Pharmacy knew your name, and kids skated on unsanded streets to the skating rink.
It was during this time that a deep and lasting friendship was formed. This is a friendship that has lasted so long, Ann Heimbaugh says; “The Duluth girls have always been in my life. I can’t imagine them not being there.”
Who or what is to get the credit for such a valuable and special thing? It’s a question that produces many different answers. Mary Beth credits the culture at Holy Rosary School, “The Dominican Sisters were focused on the search for the truth. There’s a trust in the truth. With basic truth, you create a peaceful environment where kids can learn and play.” Ann Pasternacki chuckles at that answer. “That sounds just like something Mary Beth would say!” She continues; “Our mothers were all friends. There was a camaraderie and a comfort level because of that. We were allowed to explore and find out about ourselves because everyone knew everybody.”
Ann Heimbaugh echoes that sentiment, “At Holy Rosary, we walked to and from school. We walked home for lunch together. We would go from house to house. You only knew you had to be home when the church bells rang at six o’clock.”
Ann Williams expands; “The thing about starting in a Catholic school is that it’s a community where there is strong social connectedness of the families. We all lived near the church and the school.”
Ultimately, it’s a matter of faith, family, and community. All of these girls were part of families who put faith and community at the center of their lives. Ann Williams states; “We grew up with a generation of women that taught us about service and community. These women were pillars.” That strong sense of community created the environment in which this beautiful friendship was allowed to flourish and grow.
In these extraordinary times, perhaps Mary Beth is right. It’s a search for the truth. The truth is that at a time when family, friends, and community connections have revealed to be so very dear, we can all draw lessons from this extraordinary friendship. We must remember to keep the things most precious to us at the center of our lives.
Within our faith community, it is important to look to the people who are standing right beside us. As you stand with others who you have so much in common, take time to share a story, extend an invitation, or invite someone in. Perhaps in doing so we will create the conditions for another group of five-year olds entering kindergarten this year who will still be laughing together sixty-seven years from now.